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The Jim Albright Show

I Swear This Is All True

 
Posted June 2nd, 2014 @ 12:57pm

THIRTY ONE GRAVESITES AT A Veterans Cemetery in upstate New York were vandalized last week.  American flags were placed on all the graves for Memorial Day, and one family was furious about the desecration of their sons plot.  They complained to anybody that would listen, including local police and caretakers at the cemetery.  So what to do in a case like this?  Let's go to the videotape!  When they did, they saw a lone groundhog run from grave to grave pulling the small flags out of the ground, breaking them and then taking them back to his (or her) den.  No trial date has been set for the varmint!

A MISSISSIPPI MAN HAS SEEN THE LORD...in his air conditioner!  Christopher Goldsberry swears he sees the face of God in his recently purchased old rusted AC unit.  A friend was selling the unit and our hero bought it for $10 bucks because he clearly sees the image of the messiah in the rust.  Apparently nobody else sees it, including the seller.  I've often wondered why Jesus puts his face on things like barns, pieces of toast, AC units, etc.  Or maybe he doesn't...it's just that too many people smoke wacky tobaccy or drink too much.

OH THOSE KIDS!  A GRADUATING senior at a high school in Florida (natch) will not get his diploma this year.  Bad grades?  No.  Attendance problems?  Nope.  Apparently he procured weed killer and spread it on the schools football field (where graduation was to be held).  So far not to bad huh?  Well, he spread the weed killer from sideline to sideline in the shape of a very large penis (complete with the rest of a man's junk).  When school authorities saw the monumental johnson, they got out the green paint and made a few adjustments.  Graduation went on as scheduled.

I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE.  A service dog on an airplane going from Los Angeles to Philadelphia decided to do his business smack dab in the middle of the aisle...TWICE!  Despite the best efforts of the flight crew, people were gagging and heaving.  The plane then made an emergency landing in Kansas City.  The dogs owned DID apologize.  Bad Dog!

JOIN ME TOMORROW MORNING FROM 9am until noon on 640 WHLO.  JIM  

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