LET'S HEAR IT FOR DANIELLE Saxton!  She may be one of the dumber criminals of all time.  The 27 year old was arrested for stealing a distinctive leopard print dress from a boutique (among other things) in West Frankfort, Illinois.  How did the long arm of the law get her?  She posted photos of herself wearing the dress on Facebook.  She's charged with misdemeanor retail theft.

A FAMILY WAS ENJOYING A DAY at the beach in England last week, and they came upon something unusual.  Jellyfish?  No.  Sea Shells? No.  How about three live hand grenades!  The grenades were Second World War vintage.  My question is where were they for the past 70 years?  Authorities said they were in very good condition and were probably placed on the beach as opposed to washing up from the sea.

LOVE HURTS!  RAMSEY FAKHOURI of Detroit wanted to buy a an engagement ring for his sweetheart.  However, he lacked funding for the surprise.  So he did what you would probably do...he robbed a bank.  I should also mention his girlfriend worked at the bank he robbed.  As a matter of fact, his girl was watching as the holdup took place.  He held up another worker as she restocked the ATM.  Wearing a mask, his sweetie didn't even know it was her future husband.  This dope gets 6 and one half years in prison and I'm sure his girl will wait for him!

CONGRATULATIONS TO RONALD JOSEPH of West Palm Beach, Florida.  He was arrested last week for the 47th time in the last 12 years.  This time it was for robbery.  Just a question...how can a guy STILL be walking the streets after the first 46 arrests?  If you do the math, he has an average of one arrest every four months since 2002.  Ahem.

MAKE YOUR PLANS NOW FOR THE first ever "Straight White Guy Festival."  The event MIGHT take place at Goodale Park in Columbus on September 20.  I say "might" because nobody really knows if it's a joke.  Flyers have been popping up at the park for the last few weeks but nobody knows who, when or why.  Apparently the flyers advertise that beer will be available, which should guarantee a great turnout.